feeling emotional

ever felt emotional or depressed? what do you do? you'll be surprised how different people deal with it.. some let it out, some keep it deep inside them.some people keep quiet all day, some snap at you at everything you say.some goes for a jog , lashes at their partner, and so on.

i either find myself sighing the whole day or talking bout it all day long ( pity the woman beside).

feeling so emo that i dun feel like writing anymore... sigh

Sex and The City

finally, i watched Sex and the City. watched it with my colleagues @ Pavilion yesterday. it has been a long awaited movie, SATC ended at Season 6 where we saw Carrie moving to Paris to be with the Russian, and just to find herself back in Big's arm. And then came July 08, when Carrie and her best friends along with her Manolo Blahniks, Prada and Dior will finally hit the big screens.

The addiction started 6 years ago when i was introduced to this series by Cheng Yee. I was back in uni then and used to hang out at her place to watch one or two episodes before dozing off on her bed in her air conditioned room. =)
After Season 1, i was hooked on to it, then i started sourcing for it myself. Back then, i never knew the existence of online streaming sites nor torrent sites, so it was good old Kazaa. Episode after episode, i waited patiently for it to download. The anticipation made me a more serious addict. After 6 years, I'm still a big fan.. the tv series has made me cry and laugh, and so did the movie yesterday.

As there were 9 of us, we occupied the whole row in the cineplex. even the guy who was sitted in the seat beside me switched to the back row. i wonder if it was the smell of the 1901 hotdog or our noise that turned him off. hahaa.

As the movie progresses, i find myself laughing and crying at the same time. It was a good thing that it wasn't a very packed cinema... so no one saw it i hope. There were some scenes and some conversations that took place which reminds me very much of what i've been through, or what i am going through. Given the fact that i know exactly what happened to the characters prev, i could relate to it better and i kinda feel them in some scenes. ok, sounds a bit over, but i get kinda emo when i'm watching series that i really really like. Cried like a baby whenever i'm watching The OC, and sometimes, Desperate Housewives make me cry too. ok fine, i know i'm a cry baby. but i can't help it. i must be having some kinda tear gland disorder.
when i checked my watch, it was past 8pm, and the movie was coming to an end.. and i knew that was the finale of SATC.. and i just sat there enjoying the last mins of it. wiped my tears before the lights came on, didn't want the rest to see me teary when they were laughin throughout the movie..

We all went on our own ways, heading back home. and as for me, my mind kept thinking all the way home...
i wonder..which ending would i get in the future, would it be Carrie's, Miranda's , Charlotte's or mayb Samantha's?

that i need to decide, and work for it..

a will?

was looking up the right term for money given to express condolence when a thought struck me.
btw, ended up using the term condolence money, did not know how to refer to 'pak kum' in English. literally, white gold? errh..

the thought that struck me was, what if i were to die young (touching the wood d), and die all of a sudden ( clinging on to the piece of wood d ) then what will happened to my possessions, as i wouldn't have written a will yet. well, if it was a young age, i believe there's not much of properties, or huge stash in my bank account, but i guess that can all be sorted out.

my thoughts are more like, hmm what would happen to my diary, my love letters, my many precious letters and cards. what if mom finds them? and what if she reads my diary then? and another thing that hit me was, what if i never got the chance to tell people i love what i always want to tell them? and things that some people never knew, and i always thought that someday, sometime, i want to tell them. ( mm.. need to tell my primary sch crush that i once had a crush on him? haha)

then i talked to my friend, and the first thing she said was " you crazy ar ??think bout this !" But that's what a will is for ! for your to leave your properties and belongings to someone else.
courtney suggested me to leave my last words in separate envelopes with the names on it. hmm.. should i write their address or mayb they hp no there? hehe

as for my diary.. mm. definitely dun wan mom to go thru the nooks and crannies in my life, there's a reason why it was written down in the first place.. cos they are something i wan to remember...hmm get mom to burn it?

oh gosh.. gettin a bit too much d.. might worry close friends around me..

if you know me really well.. it's just one of those thoughts..

oh well..

the great trip

am having a hard time keeping my eyes open for the day.feel the need to stick it up with toothpicks !

wait a minute, i thought i had enough hours of sleep the night before, as soon as i got myself cleaned up, i landed my tired self on the bed.. and try to doze off. it took me a while to doze off, and not to mention interrupted by phone calls and texts coming in. finally at 11pm, i think, i was carried into dreamland.. just that i didn't have any dreams.. not any that i can remember of.

It was a great trip yesterday, and we all had fun fun fun ! The jolly group consisted of Lay Yen, Yi Ling, Neil, Amy, Amy's boyfriend, Jo Lyn, Court and myself. We went to Bentong in 2 cars, Lay Yen's and Amy's. Mom and Dad went back as well. Being early risers, we left KL at 7am, and got there at 8+. The whole idea was to experience the nice and cooling weather in the morning. We had breakfast at SHL, more well known as Song Hee Lau, but i guess they want to be in the MNG trend as well, thus the nama glamour. The dim sum was so so only, but dad paid for it ! yay. so let's say thanks beramai-ramai. :P

Brought them to the Bentong market and pasar pagi for a quick look before heading to uncle's house. Dad was there, waiting to lead us to uncle's orchard in Karak. Sempat lagi we shop a bit at the market, bought candies and some pretty looking cakes. Yi Ling bought some yam flavoured cake rolls, which porous texture reminds us so much of wristbands ! hehe. will put up the pic later for you to judge.

Made our way to Karak at bout 9.45am, and was there in bout 15 mins? this time the road wasn't that hilly, so Lay Yen's car could go a little faster! hahaha
Dad had to ferry us into the orchard in his X-Trail, as the road leading to the orchard was very muddy and full of bumps. Was dropped off at the path halfway past the main gate of the orchard. The fruit fiesta started as soon as we reached the small hut in the heart of the orchard. There were mangosteens and durians. We hiked up the hill to look for more durians, and of course we left the road not taken for Neil. It was a bit too adventurous for us. After bout 2 hours of fruity time in the orchard, we made our way back. again, dad will have to bring us out, of course.

On the way back to grandma's house, we did not miss the opportunity to ta pau kopi ping from Leong Yew. yum ! nothing like a sip of cold kopi ping to cool us down on a hot day. Back in Grandma's house, and everyone was looking forward to conquer the rambutan tree. poor tree, it was half botak when we were done. or should i say when he was done with it.

Had late lunch at "tai cheong" ( well, that's the name i was told). Had my fav yin yong, and it was yum ! after finishin our noodles, we changed our mind about having dinner in Kepong.. cos we were way too full already! Still, some people had room for Kowpo ABC. hehe..

Made our way back to KL and reached home bout 9pm, Lay Yen still has the important duty to send Yi Ling & Neil home though. haha

all in all.. it was a great trip.. and we all have a great time !

the question now is , when's the next trip?

Tirednya....am back from Training Day 1 .Department's internal training is taking place for 2 days in Parkroyal Hotel. The training ended at 5pm, and just thought i'll come back to office to get some work done and to pick up my gym gear. ahem ahem. might or might not end up in gym. hehe

oh, i can't wait to watch Sex and the city ! and Batman of course ! oh, i mean Dark Knight. Have to find time to watch it next week! Hmm, am still thinking who i should drag along to watch SATC, it would be more fun to watch it with a big fan. Was reading the movie book the other day in Borders, and oh, i just can't wait to find out what's instore for the Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha !

and for now.. i should pack up and go back ! woo hoo !

what do i really want?

was strolling along Petaling St yesterday and i found myself falling into an emo stage. As I stopped at the junction of the road, waiting for the traffic light to turn red, a thought came to my mind and I asked myself the very important question, "what do you really want ?"

Should I totally cut it off, without giving it second thoughts, giving it a new start OR i should give a little bit more time, observe how it will grow. I'm getting more and more disturbed by how complicated and how undecided I am. Can't even decide on a simple decision like a haircut. sigh so i left the doorstep of Peter & Guys and crossed the road.

Many times i find myself in this position, not knowing what i want, not knowing what i want to do. To some point, i don't like choices, for I fear that i might choose the wrong option. As i was
walking down from Pudu to Petaling St, memories flashed through my mind..those were the days when we used to walked down that street, taking buses from Puduraya, having KFC right opposite the station,using the toilet in Hotel Impiana ( now known as Ancasa, and they have relocated the toilet in the lobby), walking along the busy street of dvds, branded begs and watches, having beef noodles at Shin Kee. Even passing by the many flower stalls near Popular bookstore brought back fond memories..They weren't all happy ones, there are pieces of sad and angry moments but they are all precious to me. The few minutes of flashback got me thinking again, where am i heading and what am i doing? sigh

Passed by the flower stall again, decided to pick up a bouquet of flowers for mom. Was deciding between roses or carnations ( choices again ). Carnations are flowers that you usually get for your mom, then again, the 2 dozens of roses put together was really lovely.. In the end, i took the carnations, it was 24 stalks for RM12. that's such a good price ! And men pay hundreds or even thousands for flowers on Valentines Day.. mm.. isn't it about time they realized that flowers are just overrated on V-Day?

talking bout flowers, a very nice bouquet of roses was delivered to work today. It was for a colleague of mine, it's her birthday today . Her bf has sent her flowers on a few other occasions. aaw so sweet..

oops. it's 2pm d. back to work then..

an eventful Sunday

Went back to Bentong for the day, Dad brought a few friends to uncle's durian orchard to look-see look see. and we, had to stay home cos there weren't enough space for us in the car wor.. ish

Dad left us orders to pluck the ripe rambutans from the tree in front of Grandma's house. So out came the 'galah' and the cutter.. Sissy, Abby and I took on the challenge, beginning with the lower branches, then moving up to the higher ones. Sissy even climbed up to the roof of the chicken shed to reach out to the higher bunch. After one hour, we ended up with 2 whole baskets of rambutans and lotsa ants ! But it was a great deal of fun, and who said girls can't do this ? hehe ( my bro would have said that :P )

Tagged along to Karak for lunch and to get 'durian bomb' from the famous Yik Kee. They are also well known for their siew paus, egg tarts, durian tarts and pandan egg tarts. yum.. The durian bomb cost RM1.80 each - a lil expensive for a small piece of pleasure. hmm..
Had vegetarian wan tan mee in Karak ,it was not too bad. On the way, i did not miss the chance to ta pau some good 'ol Kopi Ping from Kedai Kopi Leong Yew. yum ! Cousin sis drank Teh-kiamsi-Ping. It's tea with a dash of coffee, made with evaporated milk instead of condensed milk. Yummy!

We left Bentong at 8.30pm after a light dinner at Yee FaTT - one of our frequently visited dinner place. Had noodles instead of the extravagant dishes we usually order, i guess everyone was still full from the feast of durian we had in the afternoon.and we have more to bring back to KL, it's sitting nicely in the fridge, waiting to be savored tonight. muahaha

it's 5 mins to 7pm and i'm still in the office.. was supposed to leave at 5.45pm to Mid Valley but i missed my ride.. it's all his fault. ish..

thought for now: gym or no gym? hahah.. forever asking this question. but hungry lar..

my first Yoga session

work was kinda crappy yesterday..urgh

had a talk with boss, he was questioning me bout my span of control and my leadership skills. sigh i know that i'm not up to his expectations, but trust me.. i'm trying and learning.
he left me with 3 questions to ponder on.. aye aye boss.i shall sleep on it!

was having stomach upset..ish, been feeling like that the whole week.. darn. quickly finished up what i had to do today, cos i wanted to leave sharp at 5.30pm. wanna go for my trial session of Bikram Yoga @ True Fitness. I got to gym 2 mins too late, and the class started already..fortunately there was a Ananda yoga class at 6pm.. so i went in for that.
Really enjoyed the class, it was very slow paced and peaceful, and the sweating out part was great ! I did stretches that i never knew i can.. haha.. i was trying hard to touch my toes.. and i did after a few repetitions. hmm reminds me of Po from Kungfu Panda who can't see his toes, let alone touch it ! But of course i can see my toes ! It'll be really scary if i can't, unless I'm heavily pregnant.. hmm. which i can't really imagine for now.

a sudden thought - what is the word for fear of pregnancy.. i'm sure they have a word for it. they even have a word for the fear of Fridays. so here you go , the long list of Phobia - http://phobialist.com/
it's an interesting thing to do, to browse through the list and see what are the phobias that actually exist! have fun doin that !

and for right now.. back to work..

MIBC 2008

MIBC 2008 - it's Malaysia International Bakery & Confectionary 2008.

we were there to check out the amazing creations of the participants and exhibitors. among the programmes on that day was a 'pulled sugar' demo by Chef Leslie from Shangri-La Hotel, we were there only to catch him forming the body of the supposed to be phoenix.. but our legs couldnt take the waiting.. so we left.. hmm i wonder how does the end result looks like..

here some pics we took..

that's Yi Ling with the visitor pass..

a lovely wedding cake

check out the miniature bakery

cakes and desserts

more cakes and dessers

don't you feel like having some already?

a nice sculpture

in conjunction with Beijing Olympics 08

impressive !

deciding what we should have for lunchtrying to look cute. :P
mz pei kei chosed Kim Gary- finally..Yi Ling's glass of yummy Mango Sago something..

what a Monday

first came the great Sunday , then the crappy Monday..

started the day really early, and went out to gym. was just in time for Body Combat class, and it was a great one hour of workout.. did some weights and off to the showers. am getting ready to greet the sale ! stopped by at Nicchi and bought a black dress, it was really simple but nice.. and it was a bargain, it was only RM42! and verdict is - a woman should always have a LBD in her closet.

met up with Delores and did some catching up, talked and talked..bitch bout some things and then said some nice things bout people.. have to balance it mer.. am learning from a wise old friend that we should not say anything negative.. ( at least that's what Delores said ! haha)

after much window shopping later, we said our byes and headed home separately. Dropped by the supermarket to buy some veggies, fruits and milk. Must start eating healthy, no more curried rice for lunch! hmmph...

Then came my 'lovely' Monday, dragged myself out of bed, and made my way to work. Whole body was aching from the combat class, the phrase lacking of exercise is highlighted in red right in front of me.. Pulled through the day, and was all looking forward to 5.30pm, it had to pour heavily, just when i want to head home early.
The rain stopped bout 6+, and we left the office at 7pm, and took a slow walk to Hang Tuah station. Eversince Yi Ling shifted there, been walking there more often, well it's a pretty good opportunity to exercise more, especially on the days that i skipped gym to have dinner ! muahaha..

At KL sentral, i managed to catch the 8am train which was waiting at the platform, and i was thinking "goody, i can get home by 8.30, have my dinner, and hit the sack". The train travelled through the stations smoothly, and just before the Kepong station, it HAD to stop.. to beri laluan to another train it seems..crap... the train was halted for more than 15 mins.. and i only got down at 9pm.. so dumb..
Mom wasn't particularly in a good mood, so had to put up with her lashing in the car.. and it went on and on till we reach the doorstep of my house. sigh.. wrong timing mom..

after finishing off the chores that i usually do without being told.. i ate my 2 pieces of kuih bakar and milo ais.. and off to my room i went..

i seeked comfort in my cozy pillow and bed.. my sanctuary it is...

Day out with my girls..

Weekend started with Month End @ Mojo on Asian Heritage Row.
It was just so so, food was ok, drinks sucks and the place is so small. would have like the place if i was there with a small group of friends.. but for a company event. tsk tsk

Left at 8.30 with Yi Ling and head to Borders to lepak a bit, while deciding what to do on Saturday.
Had a plan - to go lepak on Saturday, just us - the girls, but .. there was no plan. no destination in mind, no foodie places to check out.. hmm..

came Saturday, met up with Lay Yen and Yi Ling @ sg wang at 10.30 - the penang Zhabo wants to sleep a while more, so she ditched us for her bed.. with some simple directions by beloved daddy, i brought them to Yut Kee @ Dang wangi for breakfast..
We sat down and ordered a choice of main dish each, but the orders went on and on, till the table was all full with plates of food. We had the fish porridge, curry mee, the ever famous Roti Babi , toast, steamed bread, half boiled eggs, kaya roll and butter cake.. and to wash it down - a yummy kopi ping !







After breakfast, we headed to Sogo, a fickle me then suggested Mid Valley instead. after 15 mins, we found a parking spot, and head right into the mall. Tak jadi wanna watch a movie as the queue was too darn long. so it was a shopping trip then.. much to my delight !

Mz Zhabo came by around 3.30pm, and after some shopping, we went to Kim Gary for some food and camwhoring.

Left MV at bout 6, having dinner with mi familia, have not had dinner with mom+dad for some time d. *gulp* There was a massive crowd at the KTM station, oh well, what's new.. there was a girl whose phone was nicked right from her hands.. but it was just too crowded, she couldn't make out the person who took it. poor girl..

Had pre-dinner at home - DURIANS ! then headed to Jln Kuching for dinner, it was yummy ! a simple fare but great food it was ! and it's worth the price ..

Didn't do much at home, just watched some drama and went to bed early.. tired d.. my bro went out for movie at 12am.. while i rather crawl in my soft comfy bed. signs of me getting old..

thought of the day :girls, stop callin me Mom.. sigh

my kopi ping

nothing starts my day with a good dose of kopi ping ! and sometimes it makes a good nightcap. huh? coffee for a good nightcap? hehe ..caffeine only keeps me awake when i want it too :P

ta pau-ed my kopi ping from wisma cosway, though it's not as strong as the other stall on this side of the road, but oh well, that will do. it's 30 cents cheaper anyways.

am looking forward to tomorrow.. cos it's month end drinks and it's also the weekend ! am thinking of what i should do on Saturday, been meaning to catch up with Patricia, whom I've not seen for a long long time..i think the last time i saw her was when i bumped into her at Mid Valley.

There seems to be a lot happening on my calendar for the next 2 months, but the most looked forward to event will be Cousin Jared's wedding. on 08.08.08 hmm.. nice no, the chinese would say " go buy ToTo". His whole family has migrated to Canada many many years ago, but all the relatives are here in Malaysia, hence the wedding reception in KL. hmm.. i wonder if there would be other ceremony like a usual Chinese wedding since the reception in on a Friday night.
Can't believe his is getting married already, the lil older brother who used to watch cartoons and play Legos with me. well ,he is just one year older than me, so it makes him only 25.

i like attending weddings, cos everything looks so nice, the couple looks so sweet, the dress is beautiful.. but somehow the idea of marriage..hmm.. is kinda scary. not knowing when and who is the candidate that will be spending the rest of your life with you, or worst, not knowing you want to spend the rest of your life with the person if you are with now. well that is assuming there will not be a divorce..
shoo.. to the negative thoughts..
and back to my kopi ping...and work of course..

untitled

Hancock was a good watch, though it was a 92 mins movie, but i think it was pretty well written. and we had a good dinner too, opted to give Marrybrown a try, and coincidentally, with GSC tickets, we are entitled to a 20% off the bill, plus they give you a buy 2 free 1 voucher for GSC tickets. talk about a win-win situation.. both wins for us that it. hehe

hmm am feeling a lil emo again.

how can things be so great at one moment, and suddenly so messed up the next?

what really went wrong, the understanding or the communication skills? if it is the comm skills, whose role is it to improve?

sigh.

hate awkwards conversations that end with quick judgements.. hate it...

my weekend treat

it is Wednesday already, yay!
and we are goin for a movie tonight, watching Hancock with woman beside, the girl, Ethan and Faye.

the weekend has been great. though i missed my cameron trip, i had a pretty good time with my sissy - Ab. we went to Curve with Mom + Dad, a pretty unusual sight as Dad doesn't like to lepak at malls.. but since he has never been there ( jakunnya!) , we decided to ask him along. hehe.

After spending some money at the stalls at the flea market, we headed to Ikea Cafe for lunch. Was in the queue for food when someone called my name, turned around to find a familiar face smiling at me. I didn't remember his name.. but i knew he was from MMU.. chatted a while and found out he is working in ExxonMobil in KL, very near my working place. said bye and take care.. and i realised.. i still don't know his name. sigh.. bad manners amanda..

we went on our separate ways in Ikea, but we kept bumping into them. hehe..was deciding on getting a full length mirror for my room, but in the end tak jadi also. finally, mom & dad left ikea, buying only 2 pairs of scrubbing brush. hehe..

Abby & I started at Brands Outlet , we had fun trying on countless pairs of sunnies, they were on 50% off, so i decided to get one, after bro broke mine during our Kuantan trip. Finally settled on a pair with diamente! paid for all the items and headed to Padini Concept Store next door, next on the list was MetroJaya, Nicchi Fashion City and finally in search for Genki Sushi. Apparently the outlet had closed down, so we ended up in Sakae Sushi.. which is.. urgh.. not so good. am never goin back there again.. ish..

Damage done for the day : RM 170 only.
Gained : a tube dress, sunnies, bangles, earrings, weekend shorts, and not so good sushi.

the day ended with a short magazine browsing at Borders, while waiting for our ride home..

Fun ! will definitely do it again. but.. this time, gotta make sure Abby brings her own money. each time i bring her out, it's an all expense paid outing. pokai aku...

it's has been a quiet week.
my phone has been quiet. ppl around me has been quiet.. my mind has been quiet. i think the only thing that has been non stop chattering is myself.

have been buggin 'woman' with most of my thoughts. really appreciate that she listens to me go on n on bout the same time. we have this routine of walking back to hang tuah station, and i'll be chattering away.. i actually told her, i'm sorry i've been talking bout myself so much. i know i'm bad at asking ppl how they are doin and what problems they have... but trust me woman.. i can be a good listener.. do talk to me if u need to.

had dinner with woman beside and ah girl. this girl is a really a naive and small girl ler.. despite being only 20 years old, she impresses me with her maturity of speech and the things that bugs her mind. aiyohhh. and i have recently been regarded as a big sis to her, cos she does not have a sis. oh. .another sister? i already have 2. .and now i have 2 yens? hehe.. but i'm glad to have an extra sis too. girl you hear that ?

claypot chicken rice was good.. but.. not long after that.. stomach upset man.. must be the nasi lemak and the curry.. mm.. sensitive-nya perut aku..
then ah girl sent me to KL sentral to take KTM home. bout 2 mins away from Kepong, my beloved train has to stall there for more than 15mins,.. bencinya. though i'm usually thankful there's air con in the train, it was freezing cold tonite.. brrr....

finally the train started moving.. and i got home bout 10 am.. gosh.. am so tired.. physically and mentally...need another dose of kopi ping.. - my current addiction..

gotta ciao - time for desperate housewives

something right

this song has been playing in my head..

Never thought that I'd so inspired
Never thought that I'd find the higher truth
I believed that love was overrated
'Till the moment I found you

Now baby I know I don't deserve
The love you give me
But now I understand that

If you want me I must be doing something right
I got nothing left to prove
And it's all because of you
So if you need me
And baby I make you feel alive
I know I must be doing Doing something right

It's because of you I feel so lifted
I've been looking at my life from higher ground
Never thought I'd be so elated
You're the one that turned it all around
Now baby, I didn't know myself Until you changed me
And made me understand that

If you want me I must be doing something right
I got nothing left to prove
And it's all because of you So if you need me
And baby I make you feel alive
I know I must be doing
Doing something right

And baby I know
I don't deserve the love you give me
But I don't really care, cause

If you want me I must be doing something right
I got nothing left to prove
And it's all because of you So if you need me
And baby I make you feel alive
I know I must be doing
Doing something right

i still feel blank..

was the coldness displayed a gesture from the heart who no longer cares, or was it an act of bitterness over the things that happened?

dinner was great, i had my jap food after all, and it was yum! love japanese food.
but the tension was so great it could cut through .. ermm skin? gosh must really learn how to express things properly.

went home and was feeling empty and confused. it bothers me a lot that you are like this. i dunno if you are feeling resentful or you are just putting it up... i wished i know. i asked a question last night, a ' what if you are in a situation, what will you do?' type of question. i did not share my side of the opinion, cos i thought you could probably evaluate from your own answers.
why are humans always selfish? have you ever found yourself in a situation where it's ok if you do it, but if someone else does it to you, it's totally unacceptable. a thought to ponder..

despite goin home late and turning in late, i slept well.. actually i'm not sure if it's well or not.. becos every morning when i wake up, it feels like i just closed my eyes a moment ago. i wake up without feeling tired, or rested. it's really like i blinked.. and that's all.
mom is getting unhappy with all the late nights, and i've not had dinner at home for quite some time.. since last saturday i wud say, and that was at Belle's wedding dinner.. it was a lovely wedding.. and uncle tom's speech was just so touching.. there was a line that he said " if you love someone, you have to set them free.. " is that what we are doing?

am going to Cameron Highlands this weekend, was looking forward to it , a month ago. but things has changed.. that's what happens when you decide so much earlier.. ur heart was someone else a month ago.. and now it's someone else..

thought for now: shud i or shud i not ?

the night i cried

It was a great night.. movie and dinner (though the jap food which i have been craving didn't happen - it was KFC instead), and i ended up with lotsa choccies, green tea, lemon green tea - all from marks n spencers.. he likes to shop there..

i got down from the car and walked back to my house.. waited bout 10 mins before my sister realised that i was outside the gate.. urm harlo? the curtains are down.. but nyways, thanks sissy for always waiting up for me.

went up to my room, and there i was breaking down into tears, sissy noticed it and asked why, was there a fight again? no there wasn't one.. then what happened she asked?

i spilled out the whole conversation to sissy and as i was doing it, tears just kept streaming down my face.. i was really sad, but at the same time i know what took place was for the better..though words have been said over n over again.. but this time it feels a little more final..thanks dear for everything. of all the things i ever wanted.. i really want you to happy again..

then i went to bed..feeling blank...


thought for now : an emo post to start my day?