the storm

yet another a half written post..thanks to my laziness...continued in italics..


i'm talking about the storm of emotions that i'm going through at the moment. it's amazing how one's emotions can be up and down in a matter of hours or even minutes.


in the morn, i was feeling great..then a thing or two that happened at work got me so angry and pissed off. now that i try to recall, i can't seem to rmb what was it. well, that's me, i can sweep off my sorrows in just a a matter of a few minutes, but sometimes i choose to dwell in it for a bit more.


trying hard to rmb what i intended to write on Thursday, but my memory has failed me badly. what to do.. old de.sigh

the storm

it's raining mad cats and dogs. reason for the word mad? cos it's really really bad..

why must it pour like this , just on the day that i want to leave office early. Mom texted and told me to come home early for dinner. which is something that has not happened for quite some time d.. hehe not becos mom doesn't cook dinner, but just that dinner has always been a simple affair on weekdays.. cos we all have our own activities.. and sometimes sissy doesnt wanna eat rice too.

Took half day off today, went and made my passport. Mom and I made our ways to the immigration office in Sri Rampai. Based on the 2 maps i printed out from the Internet, we found our ways to the place. and whoever said women can't neva read maps! ha ha ha. Collected my passport in just an hour! That's super fast leh!

Left Sri Rampai at 9am, then headed to grandma's place at Jln Ipoh for breakfast. it was such a great thing to be having breakfast at 10 am and not at work! After breakfast and visiting grandma, mom sent me to Titiwangsa monorail station. Reached office at 11am, but of course it was too early to be at work. hehe. so i went over to Times bookstore in Pavilion, and read a few good books there. decided to buy some J Co donuts for my team members.. always liked the task of selecting donuts there.. the colourful selections seems to put a smile on my face each time.

looking out the window and the rain is still pouring.. sigh.. should i or should i not just walk in the rain. with my umbrella of cos..

hmmm.. i shall do just that.

a trip

trip~ stumble, miss a step and fall or nearly fall

That's my definition of trip for the day. As I got off mom's car this morning, after the 2nd step on the road, the heels of my shoes got caught, and i missed my step. Down i went on my both my knees and palms. *ouch* it was a painful fall, but i picked myself up and walked again lor.
i'm not too badly injured, just some cuts, or whatever you call it, cos it was caused my the friction from my jeans and the fall.

What a way to start my Friday morning, but nothing will stop me from buying a pack of hot, fresh breakfast ! As i was buying breakfast, was feeling a little guilty from the late dinner i had last nite. well, supper to be exact, at 10.30, me and sisters went to Rajoo's - the mamak stall outside my house. We had a feast of Nasi Goreng Kampung, Tom Yum, roti canai and roti Bom! and sissy had 2 cups of sirap limau, tambah limau. The bill came up to 16.50.. hmm have never paid so much for a mamak session for 3. we all went back with a very full stomach. hehe

but oh well, that was last nite, so i'm diggin in now.. into my breakfast.. yum..

a new day

the sun's out.. and it's a bright and sunny day!

started my day with a fresh pack of nasi lemak, packed with all the calories and cholestrol! whatever !

am learning how to let go of things, let go of my anger and disappointment. the worst of things might have happened, but it's important to learn how to forgive, to eventually let go of the miserable feelings that were once mounted in your heart. it's always easier said than done, you can say it to anyone, to your friends, to your partner, or even to yourself. but when you try to do it, it takes an extra inch of effort. i told myself that i will get there, to release all negative energy and walk on with a renewed strength..

it's mid-week already, and very much hoping for the week to end now! am dying to go off on my own, for a short spa trip perhaps.. any suggestions?

i walked alone...

Left the office at 7pm, went over to pavilion alone, ate over-priced porridge with you-tiao alone, walked to Hang Tuah station alone. along the way, bestie called and talked to me a bit.. assured her that i will be ok, and i can do it. *clicked* went the phone. and the song starts playing.. well, not that i mind eating or walking alone, though one once said that i will not have to do that ever again.. but i guess things change..

the word that is ringing in my head now is LOST. where exactly is that? am i there already?
am trying to figure out the irony in all things around me.. especially when one said A, but does B ?
what am i blabbering about ler..my brain is full of thoughts and my heart filled with emotions, but i can't seem to be able to express it.. i made the choice to shut it in there...and i think that's the right choice.

Amanda FM :

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

a gloomy one

am definitely not feeling great on this Monday morn.

had a very disturbed sleep. woke up several times throughout the nite, am feeling awfully tired though i slept at 10 pm, after the disappointment of Chong Wei's defeat in the Olympics Men's Singles.sigh.. our only hope.

coming back to work today feels different.. the absence of ppl at work, and the absence of you in my life. never thought it was this difficult, you must thought that i'm heartless and cold.. i'm mean and cruel... but i have feelings too..

trying.. and trying to cope...

be strong..

some love

I found some love in my pockets...both pockets infact..

someone sweet who cares left it there.. thank you for all the care and concern.. don't you worry, i will be stronger !

muahs..

was feeling a little depressed from the moment i woke up from my bed. wait a minute, i think it was from the moment i dropped on my bed last nite.

last nite was a drag.. sigh. the words that were still ringing in my mind this morning was, a dinner, a movie, a prom, a convo, a whole different level.. whatever that means...

was a little late for work today, had soup for breakfast and was dragged into meeting room for a meeting on our recruitment efforts. 2 out of 3 new recruits have left, in just a matter of days. what a bummer.. boss went on n on bout a few other stuffs.. but.. obviously my heart wasn't in the room. it was far away. mayb on the roof of mariott hotel across the road? i wonder.

there's been lotsa chaos in the dept these 2 days.. with the man of cos. first courtney, then myself. i wonder if a man can actually pick up the emo bit of female co-workers. though we try hard to work and talk like him, but.. cannot ler..

my depression level dropped after lunch, after the fancy lunch we had at the banana leaf place. It's actually known as Criz garden cafe, but oh well they serve banana leaf rice mar.. thus the common name. it was a farewell lunch for Hide, Lay Yen and Yi Ling. sigh. all 3 of my team members.. dread it man. it means lesser team members and greater recruitment effort! gambate girl !

and for now.. to do a lil shopping.. for myself, and for ppl that i care for *winks*

finally

Finally, by Fergie. Was listening to it the whole weekend.. nope.. it wasn't me whose obsessed this time. It's sissy. gosh... she is playing it over n over again.. dun get me wrong, i love that song too. but playing it everytime she switch on the mp3? hmm...

Finally, am done with training at work.phew, am dreading the routine already. and each time, i'm worried if i do say all the right things and the same things. It has to be consistent mar...Oh well, i'm sure there are many more opportunities to practise. given the fact there's ongoing recruitment.

Finally, come Aug 8, and the much anticipated event took place. we all gathered at Ballroom 3, Crown Princess Hotel. and at 8.08pm, the bride and groom walked in. ( ok mayb not exactly at 8.08pm. =P ) It was a great nite and there were a lot of posers in action. View them in my facebook.

Finally, i got all the group photo from Bentong all sorted out, and posted on Facebook.

Finally.. it's end of Tuesday. time seems to be crawling today..

Finally, i'm heading to gym today.

hungry n tired

yes, i'm still in the office.just finished screening the pile of resume on my table, and someone has to throw in some extra comments bout my timing of getting it done.. tsk tsk tsk. FINE..whatever

am so hungry now, had a cracker 5 mins ago. dun feel like having anymore..i wanna go eat Sushi at Ichiban..should i or should i not?

haven't finalise my outfit for tmr's wedding dinner.. but oh well, whatever la.. i'm not the star. taking the famous quote.. just gonna sit down the whole nite and ppl ain't going to notice. forgive my crankiness.. it's probably the starvation + gastric i'm feeling right now.

can't wait for tmr.. so many things to do, yet if feels like so little time.

the week is coming to an end already! That's fast.. am taking half day off tomorrow, wanna get all dolled up for Jared's wedding. can't wait to meet everyone at the dinner, it's been a while since we had any family gathering. and it's a good thing that we are all meeting up for an auspicious wedding. it's jared kor kor's wedding. hehe

the thought of gettin to leave office at 1 pm tmr gets me jumping with joy, but that would prob mean working a little later today to finish up all the work piling on my table. hmm.. gotta settle the paperwork for the 3 newbies, submit forms to HR, process the expenses claims, commission claims,outstanding emails in my inbox.. wah macam banyak kerja jugak. have to submit all these forms to HR fast fast cos it's pay day next week. woo hoo !!

slept slightly earlier last nite, which was 1am. earlier meaning earlier than mon, tue, wed nite. hehe. addicted to my D.I.E series, been watching it every night ! akibatnya, the very obvious dark circles under my eyes. not that it wasn't there before.

today is the last day of training the new recruits. am getting the hang of it already.. but still....nvm..

the saturday

was supposed to join my Raleigh friends for rock climbing @Summit on saturday, but turned down cos thought momsie will bring me to aunt's house and suppose to go to Ampang Point together. Last minute, as usual... dun wan to go wor.. ish.. so bengang, felt like i stayed home for nothing. But luckily for aunt's "i'm not giving up" spirit, i went down to town to meet up with my uncle and followed him home. the exact line from her was " she is my BFF, i know she won't bring u to my hse, so i have to think of other ways." and her BFF is my mom. muahaha.. my aunt is a rare piece.. the best relative i can ever get !!

So off to a boutique in Ampang Point we went, it was called 'My Wardrobe'. I tried on more than 20 pcs of clothing i think.. oops. mayb 30 ! After almost 2 hours of fashion montage, i asked for the bill, it came up to....*drumroll pls* 121 ringgit only ! and that's for 7 pcs , 6 baju and 1 skirt. *krraacckk tinggg* macam hit jackpot d! looked at the original total on my receipt, and it was RM406. Looks like i got myself quite a bargain.

We headed to grandma's house after leaving the boutique. Was suppose to go meet the Canadian clan. Jared was coming back with his wifey, Maggie - everyone was so excited to meet her. On the way back, along a road in Ampang, we had to stop as the car in front of us changed her mind; she decided to turn right instead of going straight. we waited quite a bit, and my aunty ( as usual) was getting impatient, and out of nowhere, lil Natalie said in her cutest voice
" honk la.. what are we waiting for ? " no doubts that she is my aunty's daughter!muahaha.

Finally we all met Maggie, no doubts, Grandma was the happiest person.. and everyone made such a big fuss over the newlywed couple. It was a very noisy dinner, but no one's complaining as it has been a while since there was a wedding in the Chan family ( mom's side). Too bad cousin not doing the whole ceremony in Msia, apparently he did that in HK d. so it'll be just the wedding reception on Friday night. ( which reminds me, i kinda don't have anything to wear yet, Darndest!)

It's already the month of August, its scary how time is flying pass so quickly, one moment, we were doing a countdown on the Beijing Olympics, and now, it's taking place this Friday! Where has all the time gone to?